There is a new phenomenon cropping in town where we now find young men from 25-35years carrying their children around instead of women. They move with these children to their business sites, restaurants and beer parlors.
One rainy afternoon, at about 2pm, I walked into a beer parlor at Ring Way Street-Bamenda, with a friend struggling to hide from the heavy rain pour. I realized some three men carrying young children ranging from the ages of about 1-4years. As we sat, I watched these men trying to keep their children calm while they were drinking and discussing. The oldest child was struggling to sleep in the arms of her father. She has being there since 12.30am when she had closed from kidder garden. The father had bought some food and fed her. Now it was time to sleep. The man was struggling to carry the child with a bottle of 33 Export in his left hand. I was curious to ask one of them what his child was doing in a beer parlor at 4pm when she should have been in the house resting after school.
The man replied Madam… levam so! My story long!
Then I asked if he could tell me.
He said his girlfriend had abandoned their baby when she was 6months old for green pastures in the South West Region.
Then I asked how old was his girlfriend and why she had abandoned her baby?
He replied that she was 20years and he had denied the pregnancy when she was pregnant. And did not prepare or buy anything for the child. The girl was maltreated by her parents who later assumed his responsibilities. So when the child was six month she came to visits him and left the baby on the chair in the parlor without a word. When he carried the baby he realized that it was his baby because he looked just like him, He said! I took the baby to my mother who refused to care for my baby because she has been sick and she is alone in the village.
So how old is your baby? I asked!
He replied 1year 9months.He concluded by saying he has being caring for him alone and taking him for antenatal. The baby was health but what will be the faith of this baby without his mother still alive?
The second man told me, his case was different because he was traditionally married and they had one child. He had invested and assisted his wife until she had learnt a hair dressing. He had opened her salon. Thing were moving fine but sudden she changed and they started having so much problems. She was coming back late and I got her beating so many times. She went and rented her own house. He said and I have tried to bring her back but to no avail. So I decided to raise my daughter so that she will never be like her mother. He said!
I asked if his wife was coming often to check on the child.
He accepted but said she could see her daughter but not take her.
Then I reminded him that the child has the right to live with the mother because she was too young to undergo such pain and trauma from their marital problems. Let him keep the child out of it.
I finally asked them if it was easy for them to raising those children without their mothers. They all accepted that they have suffered and they can’t manage the children. And that all mothers have a special role and obligations to care for children. There are some aspects in children which only the mothers can understand and handle. Take not that your mothers are not your nannies, they are also tired.!!!!!
NB: This goes to those who want to have children and run away from their responsibilities. Some of you just want to tell your friends you have children. Children which you don’t know how they are raised. But will come to claim them when they are matured and ignore to appreciate those cared for your children. Times have change the women will allow you with the children if you are irresponsible. So before you boys and men want to have children think well, these generational girls will abandon the babies to you. They no like suffer.
SO what do you think will happen to these young and innocent children who spent their time with their fathers in beer parlors?
Let’s all be responsible parents!